How To Be A Boss In Your Own Business

In order to truly out-care the competition and create lasting connections, we have to know who we are at our core. 

If we want to be a boss in our own business, we have to truly understand our WHY. 

We dove into what that means, and how you can connect what you know with how you grow, with Tollisha Joseph, founder of The Official Glue.   

“People kept saying to me, you’re the glue, girl! You make it all work and make it stick together, so that’s how I got my business name!” - Tollisha Joseph

Tollisha refers to herself as a magnet and given that our weekly Training Tuesday live show is called Magnet Marketers, we’re all about it. (And we can’t deny Tollisha’s magnetism. It was her bright energy that led Jessika to connect with her on Clubhouse to bring her onto the show.) 

How To Be A Boss In Your Own Business:

Tollisha knew from an early age that she would eventually have her own business because she had always been focused on growing, learning and evolving relationships.

“I always got in trouble for talking too much and being curious… my curiosity is what fuels my business. I’m always willing to know more about business and people.” Tollisha Joseph (click to tweet)

Even when she became the boss, she was still dedicated to the idea. And through the growing process, if she didn’t have an answer, she’d find the right person who did. It just goes to show: We don’t need to know everything; the skill is knowing who to turn to and where to find support. And then we grow some more.

“It’s a good thing to know that we don’t have it all figured out and that we can tap into mentorship to help us elevate our business.” @jessikaphillips (click to tweet)

Insert: the power of networking and making connections. 

By connecting with others, we set ourselves up for more opportunity. We open up doors that we never could have imagined. And we’re hardwired to do it.

Networking and meeting other people feeds our innate curiosity as human beings to learn. It’s in our DNA.

Shifting Our Mindset:

Whether it's growing a business or building a network, adopting a long-term mindset is the first step.

Strong businesses, deep culture and highly functional teams, however, aren’t created overnight. They take time and effort to build.

This means that we need to be shifting our mindset away from instant gratification towards a more big-picture way of thinking. 

“People want instant gratification like Ramen noodles, so when you tell somebody that we’re going to be working together from 30-90 days they get a little scared about the time… that first 30 days is getting you to purge and get rid of the old mentality so that you can insert the new idea.” - Tollisha Joseph

If we want to see a transformation within ourselves and/or our businesses, we need to be willing to aim for a spot down the road and be dedicated to getting there.

Tip from Tollisha >> If you ever get into a coaching program and it’s only 30 days, don’t expect a breakthrough. 

“You have to break first before you have a breakthrough. You have to break your first set of ideology and then insert a NEW ideology.” Tollisha Joseph (click to tweet)

In order to get to a new place mentally, we have to be willing to question and challenge our current set of beliefs. That way, we can look back and really be proud of the transformation we’ve accomplished. 

“I think people want things instantaneously but there’s beauty in knowing that I can do something for 90 days and I am going to guarantee myself that end result because I did the work.” - Tollisha Joseph 

“Anything that we’ve done that’s hard, we look back on and say wow I’m so glad I did that. We look back and we feel grateful for it and that’s where the learning comes in.” @jessikaphillips (click to tweet)

How Clarity Leads To Connection:

We often say that business is a result of hard work, but the real hard work is shifting the mindset and getting clarity on exactly what you do, who you serve and why you do it.

“You have to be willing to elevate and do the things that others won’t do because that’s how you’re really going to stand out.” @jessikaphillips (click to tweet)

Once you truly understand your brand manifesto, you can start up-leveling your business. 

“The hard work is changing your mind. Once you can look in the mirror and be okay with who you see, everything else gets easier because that’s when you know who you want to work with and who is your jam.” Tollisha Joseph (click to tweet)

Getting clarity on your brand message is critical.

“Your story is the foundation for everything. And the message is what moves the mission. The message has to be good because that’s what will drive the mission forward.” - Tollisha Joseph  

As a brand, when we can be crystal clear on who we do AND don’t serve, we set ourselves up for success. As a brand, when we truly understand who we are at our core, we are able to show up and serve the right people. 

“Your message is bigger than your product or service. It’s the message that people are going to be drawn to. It’s about showing your heart and inserting that level of care.” @jessikaphillips (click to tweet)

How To Show Up And CARE:

Once we align brand and business culture, we now have an opportunity to show up and care for our customers to make them feel seen, heard and appreciated. 

Tollisha has her own take on using CARE as an acronym:

C - Create relationships that last:

This means that it’s so far beyond the micro-moment or one-time interaction with someone. Start creating connections that span beyond one touchpoint. Again, it goes back to adopting that long-term mindset we spoke about earlier. 

A - Articulate expectations:

Being clear about what you expect is critical if you want to feel like the interaction was successful. Articulate what you want and include yourself in the conversation! Don’t forget that it’s your space too. If you’re invited on a podcast, YES it is the host’s podcast but that’s also your space to share your message! It’s why you were invited, so don’t forget it.

R - Respond to conflict:

It’s a lot easier to spit venom at people. It’s a lot harder to sit down and talk things through. The reality is, conflict isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s inevitable. It’s more about how we learn from it and move forward. There should be room for conflict because it allows for innovation, new ideas and growth.

“If you are not getting into conflict with people, you are not growing. You need to know that conflict is good. If someone is upset with me, I want the opportunity to make it right. Be a corrector, Be a responder. Be an activator.” - Tollisha Joseph

E - Engage with the audience:

Engagement isn’t just hitting the like button. REAL engagement takes time and comes in the form of meaningful, thoughtful comments. It’s taking the time to truly engage by listening to what someone said AND what they might need, so that you can provide them with the best possible service. 

When we take the time to really listen, we start to have meaningful conversations. Those conversations are going to be the difference-makers that lead to deep, lasting connections.

“What’s better is going WIDE. You should go deep with a few people and then, because you went deep with those few, your reach has gone very wide. You don’t actually need to go deep with everybody.” Tollisha Joseph (click to tweet)  

Putting It All Together:

In a world of instant gratification, creating connections that last can be challenging.

That’s why understanding who you are always comes first. It’s all about building those avatars/personas - really understanding who you are here to serve so that you can really show up to serve them.

“Make it a good game of tennis, where there is a good back and forth - an exchange of value… Relationships should bring you pleasure!” Tollisha Joseph (click to tweet)

Operating with clarity and conviction in what we do and who we serve positions us to succeed. 

How do we define success in this context? >> Working with the right people and doing what we love. 

It’s a waste of our time to try to maintain relationships with people that aren’t for us. We’re better off spending our precious time and energy strengthening and creating connections with the right people. 

“People drop because they aren’t really your people.” Tollisha Joseph (click to tweet)

We KNOW what it feels like to work with the right people; we can feel it energetically. Working with the right people makes us feel fired up and excited to ignite a conversation. 

“There is enough work out there for everyone. I want to build relationships with people to shine a light on them!” @jessikaphillips (click to tweet)

At the end of the day, being your own boss is all about showing up as your unapologetic self with your clear message that states exactly who you are here to serve and HOW you show up to CARE. 

What do you think? What do you think it really means to be a boss in your own business?

Let us know in the comments below!